So I’ve Gained Weight, What's the Big Deal?

This article is a little different, but a message that I strongly feel needs to be talked about and given a platform for discussion.

Your ideas about body image effect and are projected onto the loved ones you care about. The other day I was hanging out with a friend, and the topic of talking about another mutual friend’s weight gain was brought up. Due to years of troubled eating and body dysmorphia, I felt the instant urge to say something unkind. But I have worked hard to restrain myself and have learned to love my body. I rejoice in its changes and have come to accept the vessel I have been gifted with. I responded to my friend, “So what’s the big deal?” Really why are talking about others and even projecting negative thoughts about our bodies even a topic of conversation?

I cannot count the number of people I have encountered with past or present troubled eating and body dysmorphia. It is sad to say, I have come to think of disordered eating as a right of passage through teenage years and young adulthood due to the number of people I know who have experienced it.

• Eating disordered affect 9% of the United State’s population – that is 28.8 million people in the US alone.

• Eating disorders are among the deadliest illnesses.

• BIPOC peoples are significantly less likely to be even asked questions about disordered eating by their practitioners, therefore less likely to be diagnosed and receive the necessary treatment.

• Transgendered college students are experiencing troubled eating at four times the rate as their cisgender peers (1).

**Keep in mind that these statistics are only those that have been diagnosed and reported.

Although there are many medical reasonings for why eating disorders are so prevalent, I cannot help but think that a large amount of them are due to the way that we hear others talk about their bodies. For example, the “one almond a day mother” joke on Tiktok. The joke makes light of how common it is who has a mother that brags about how little she eats in a day and can sustain herself off of only one almond. Although it is meant to make fun of the fact that this is ridiculous, its prevalence shows how many children are affected by having a role model that upholds disordered eating idealization. I am tired of hearing the women I love and admire in my life perpetuate negative body talk.

I would like to talk further about having mindfulness when speaking about our and others’ bodies. Although we are a victim of our insecurities, so are others when we speak about them so openly. I remember when I was young and listened to my mother talk about herself in the mirror. Not only was it heartbreaking for me to hear the most beautiful woman in the world speak badly of herself, but it made me think about what I look like. Part of me is still upset with her for opening my mind to that negativity. I have vowed to myself to never speak poorly of myself around other people. I do not want to ever make my loved ones question themselves. Although saying an insecurity out loud may receive some validation, that will only solve a fraction of the real problem.

Truthfully I decided to write this article as a cathartic outlet, but I hope that you can relate to my frustrations. I hope that in the future there will be more understanding and awareness surrounding the way that we view and talk about our and other people’s bodies. I strongly believe that negative body talk brings nothing good to any conversation unless it is between trusted people. And for the reader – remember that as long as you are living in a body that can allow you to accomplish your dreams and goals, appreciate the vessel that encapsulates your most important self. You are loved, beautiful, and worthy.